標題: 老婆是个白领 [打印本頁]
作者:
hcs 時間: 2010-8-3 07:47 AM 標題: 老婆是个白领
老婆是个白领,每天打扮的端庄优雅的去上班。在人前,举止得体。偶尔听到粗俗的笑话,脸还会红,一副温良恭谦让的良家女子相。可是私下,不论是在家中还是在公众处,她的那一副“色”相,真是原形毕露。
比如,找几件她的小劣迹:
1、 我的上班时间比她早,总是在8:00时打电话叫醒她,久打,不接。最后,终于听到她嗲嗲的:“喂——”,先听到她对着电话吹气,然后说:“手机的震动……好舒服……哟,可惜没防水功能……黄河都泛滥喽……”接着是她的笑。
2、 临近中午,打电话问她忙什么,答曰:“很忙,”“锄禾日当午呀,汗滴禾下土。”听到她的狂笑,才知她又在心术不正了。她经常会钻到我怀里问:“你叫锄禾吧,谁叫当午呀?”
3、 正聚精会神的看电视上丰胸广告中的美女,她听到声音,从电脑前冲过来,跳着脱衣艳舞,除掉上衣,用比广告中更撩人的姿势秀她的小酥胸。广告停止,她又倏地钻到电脑前,一本正经。
4、 拿一枚硬币,蹭过来,贼兮兮的说:“我教你一招调戏女同事的把戏。”她用手指夹好硬币,说:“我问你问题,你抽出硬币后再回答。”第一个问题:“你今年多大?”
我从她的指缝抽出硬币,回答。
第二个问题,也是如此。
最后问:“你的洞房夜老公和你说的第一句话是什么?”我使劲抽也抽不出硬币,她用两只手的力量捏紧,不让我抽出硬币,我于是说:“你夹的太紧了,我拔不出。”说完,她就狂笑。大叫成功。问我学会了没有。
5、 夜吃方便面,她煮好,卧上三个荷包蛋,一根香肠。她作出流哈拉子样的看着我:“你就一根肠两个蛋,还有一个应该是我的。”一看到她又坏笑,喷饭。
6、 一起走在路上,她总是用手拉着我的长裤的后腰。我说不舒服,让她松开,她就是一本正经的说:“谁让你的柄儿长前面,不长后面呢”,“我没什么拉,只能拉这里啦。”
7、 写着字,她突然用笔支起下巴,认真的问我:“那个,那个‘咬’字怎么写来着?”我老实回答她,“就是‘ 口交’呗”。她一笑,又知她的阴谋得逞了。
8、 心情不好时,对她粗声大气。她装作委屈的样子,眨着眼睛说:“公牛出差,不放心母牛一人在家,就把它送到好友大象那里,公牛回来后领母牛回去后,惊讶的说‘咦,牛B大了呀!”然后,她再说:“就是你!”
先弄这些..有时间在加!~笑过之余..给你门做个测试...我发现.看完我帖子的有两种人...
第1种:看完了我的帖子笑了的人.......这种人,爱情顺利,事业顺心,家庭和睦,福如东海.寿比南山,一生开心~
当然了。.这种人也都宽宏大量....不会介意回个小小的帖子了...开心无价嘛~~
第2种:看完了我的帖子没有笑的人:........这种、人........................啥也别说了..............没的说了
作者:
wxhzzq 時間: 2010-8-7 02:05 AM 標題: ding
作者:
hong8848 時間: 2010-8-8 04:27 PM
作者:
576284619 時間: 2010-8-9 12:28 PM 標題: 回復 #1 hcs 的帖子
..
作者:
77303399 時間: 2010-8-11 05:05 AM
1
作者:
bingying 時間: 2010-9-25 11:21 AM
不赖.
作者:
ch6300346 時間: 2010-9-25 11:35 AM
作者:
vwxy074 時間: 2010-9-26 07:03 AM 標題: 人言可畏啊!
說的不錯,說到我心?去了頂下!!!
天龍八部2外掛 qq三國外掛 神魔大陸外掛 天龍八部2外掛 龍之穀外掛
作者:
kingjust 時間: 2010-9-27 10:02 AM
作者:
haodifang 時間: 2010-9-28 06:43 AM 標題: 回復 #1 hcs 的帖子
这个很不错 值得
作者:
hy775 時間: 2010-9-28 11:52 AM
作者:
thomas1984 時間: 2010-11-2 06:07 AM
感謝分享,很有意思,收藏了。
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作者:
lixiangshi0 時間: 2010-11-2 12:09 PM
作者:
zhanghaitaotao 時間: 2010-12-31 02:27 PM
作者:
zgpa15532 時間: 2011-1-1 12:58 PM
作者:
bu8503 時間: 2011-1-8 12:45 AM 標題: ?理全??算机3??★加QQ66698208★
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作者:
bu8503 時間: 2011-1-8 05:36 AM 標題: ??家??算机1??★加QQ66698208★
??家??算机1??★加QQ66698208★??家??算机1??★加QQ:66698208★
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作者:
vtdkoghn 時間: 2011-1-11 10:30 AM 標題: 身份?掉了怎么?★加QQ:66698208★
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身份?掉了怎么?★加QQ66698208★身份?掉了怎么?★加QQ:66698208★
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作者:
vtdkoghn 時間: 2011-1-12 07:48 AM 標題: ?身份?★加QQ:66698208★
?身份?★加QQ66698208★?身份?★加QQ:66698208★
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作者:
隸釋剿辿潑薊 時間: 2011-1-13 03:14 AM 標題: ???士???★加QQ57269887★
???士???★加QQ57269887★???士???★加Q:57269887★???士???★加Q?:57269887★???士???★加QQ:57269887★???士???★加Q:57269887★???士???★加Q?:57269887★???士???★加QQ:57269887★???士???★加Q:57269887★???士???★加Q?:57269887★???士???★加QQ:57269887★???士???★加Q:57269887★???士???★加Q?:57269887★???士???★加QQ:57269887★???士???★加Q:57269887
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作者:
ym230 時間: 2011-1-13 10:20 AM
作者:
隸釋剿辿潑薊 時間: 2011-1-15 10:54 AM 標題: 万?代?身份?公章qq57269887
万?代?身份?公章qq57269887
福路公司代?各种?件刻章?牌,?到付款,qq57269887
?到付款,??面?全?(支持支付?交易)
代?万?身份?公章qq57269887
福路公司的?理??主要有以下几种:
1.代?各?校各??????,自考??,成人高考,?考??,涵授,英?六???,?算机等???及各??案等.
2.代?各?中?高??格?,如中????,高?工程??等等
3.代?各种防?身份?,?口本香港身份?,?婚?,离婚?,?官?,房??,???照等等
4.代????,行??,小??牌,客??牌,???牌,武警?牌等等
5.万?代?身份?公章qq57269887等等
6.代?政府机?公章,企?公章,??公章及??外一切?件等等
作者:
cxchenjian 時間: 2011-1-16 06:22 AM
收集的不错,请继续
作者:
sa2885000 時間: 2011-1-20 06:17 PM
:lol :lol
作者:
一生的 時間: 2011-1-29 06:09 AM
作者:
yxdyxd09 時間: 2011-1-29 11:05 PM
54646456456
作者:
yxdyxd09 時間: 2011-1-31 03:20 AM
54989856
作者:
shuhua 時間: 2011-4-23 09:48 AM
顶
作者:
667488 時間: 2011-4-25 08:45 PM 標題: 回復 #1 hcs 的帖子
作者:
阿努匹斯 時間: 2011-4-29 10:13 AM
作者:
667488 時間: 2011-4-29 10:55 AM 標題: 回復 #1 hcs 的帖子
作者:
xj870807 時間: 2011-5-2 03:28 AM
内容顶你
作者:
keji13 時間: 2011-5-14 03:44 PM
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wuping921111 時間: 2011-5-14 09:42 PM
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jiayafei 時間: 2011-5-16 07:25 PM
作者:
XXXOOO121 時間: 2011-5-16 11:27 PM
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sanyiyuan 時間: 2011-5-17 05:48 AM
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作者:
mqcnxk 時間: 2011-6-10 12:51 PM
作者:
a57241113 時間: 2011-6-30 01:31 AM
好啊
作者:
18jina 時間: 2011-7-14 01:46 AM
作者:
songerso 時間: 2011-7-14 01:21 PM
..d
作者:
金庭 時間: 2011-7-18 11:25 AM 標題: 好
好笑
作者:
nt16888 時間: 2011-7-19 09:25 AM
这个经典
作者:
金庭 時間: 2011-7-19 10:51 AM 標題: 好
好
作者:
金庭 時間: 2011-7-22 05:46 AM 標題: 好
HAO
作者:
金庭 時間: 2011-7-28 10:31 AM 標題: 好
好
作者:
luweihua0571 時間: 2011-8-5 04:37 AM
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作者:
dianyiwang 時間: 2011-8-11 06:16 AM
牛B大了呀1
作者:
gst123995 時間: 2011-8-13 10:33 AM
牛!!!
作者:
bornbaby 時間: 2012-6-4 12:14 AM
顶你的 哈哈
作者:
luckday 時間: 2012-6-16 02:28 AM
作者:
123ZXCASD 時間: 2012-6-17 06:31 AM
作者:
wawapiwawa 時間: 2012-7-30 05:33 AM 標題: su
作者:
851022 時間: 2012-10-2 11:54 AM
作者:
aqlou 時間: 2012-11-8 11:19 PM
精辟!!!!!!!!
作者:
svendy 時間: 2012-11-18 07:11 PM
253530863@qq.com 楼主is good man
作者:
xiaoxiao7321 時間: 2012-12-9 06:42 AM
作者:
s3563392@lyadsl 時間: 2012-12-12 06:15 AM
作者:
jiangyiwen 時間: 2012-12-17 09:36 AM
呵呵
作者:
jedah 時間: 2013-1-10 04:40 PM
笑了
作者:
pcbaihu 時間: 2013-5-26 01:43 AM
你太幸福了,能得这样一老婆,真是人生幸事。
作者:
FANLIXUFUMING 時間: 2013-8-7 10:50 PM
顶!!
作者:
5105057 時間: 2013-9-6 11:00 PM
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作者:
隸嫉 時間: 2013-9-11 06:15 PM 標題: 英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????????????????????????????
<h1>英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????????????????????????????</h1>
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英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??
<h3>英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????</h3>
作者:
531761381 時間: 2014-4-4 01:12 AM
作者:
luckday 時間: 2014-5-4 02:03 AM
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