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標題: 老婆是个白领 [打印本頁]

作者: hcs    時間: 2010-8-3 07:47 AM     標題: 老婆是个白领

老婆是个白领,每天打扮的端庄优雅的去上班。在人前,举止得体。偶尔听到粗俗的笑话,脸还会红,一副温良恭谦让的良家女子相。可是私下,不论是在家中还是在公众处,她的那一副“色”相,真是原形毕露。
比如,找几件她的小劣迹:

1、 我的上班时间比她早,总是在8:00时打电话叫醒她,久打,不接。最后,终于听到她嗲嗲的:“喂——”,先听到她对着电话吹气,然后说:“手机的震动……好舒服……哟,可惜没防水功能……黄河都泛滥喽……”接着是她的笑。

2、 临近中午,打电话问她忙什么,答曰:“很忙,”“锄禾日当午呀,汗滴禾下土。”听到她的狂笑,才知她又在心术不正了。她经常会钻到我怀里问:“你叫锄禾吧,谁叫当午呀?”

3、 正聚精会神的看电视上丰胸广告中的美女,她听到声音,从电脑前冲过来,跳着脱衣艳舞,除掉上衣,用比广告中更撩人的姿势秀她的小酥胸。广告停止,她又倏地钻到电脑前,一本正经。

4、 拿一枚硬币,蹭过来,贼兮兮的说:“我教你一招调戏女同事的把戏。”她用手指夹好硬币,说:“我问你问题,你抽出硬币后再回答。”第一个问题:“你今年多大?”

我从她的指缝抽出硬币,回答。

第二个问题,也是如此。

最后问:“你的洞房夜老公和你说的第一句话是什么?”我使劲抽也抽不出硬币,她用两只手的力量捏紧,不让我抽出硬币,我于是说:“你夹的太紧了,我拔不出。”说完,她就狂笑。大叫成功。问我学会了没有。

5、 夜吃方便面,她煮好,卧上三个荷包蛋,一根香肠。她作出流哈拉子样的看着我:“你就一根肠两个蛋,还有一个应该是我的。”一看到她又坏笑,喷饭。

6、 一起走在路上,她总是用手拉着我的长裤的后腰。我说不舒服,让她松开,她就是一本正经的说:“谁让你的柄儿长前面,不长后面呢”,“我没什么拉,只能拉这里啦。”

7、 写着字,她突然用笔支起下巴,认真的问我:“那个,那个‘咬’字怎么写来着?”我老实回答她,“就是‘ 口交’呗”。她一笑,又知她的阴谋得逞了。

8、 心情不好时,对她粗声大气。她装作委屈的样子,眨着眼睛说:“公牛出差,不放心母牛一人在家,就把它送到好友大象那里,公牛回来后领母牛回去后,惊讶的说‘咦,牛B大了呀!”然后,她再说:“就是你!”




先弄这些..有时间在加!~笑过之余..给你门做个测试...我发现.看完我帖子的有两种人...

第1种:看完了我的帖子笑了的人.......这种人,爱情顺利,事业顺心,家庭和睦,福如东海.寿比南山,一生开心~

当然了。.这种人也都宽宏大量....不会介意回个小小的帖子了...开心无价嘛~~

第2种:看完了我的帖子没有笑的人:........这种、人........................啥也别说了..............没的说了
作者: wxhzzq    時間: 2010-8-7 02:05 AM     標題: ding


作者: hong8848    時間: 2010-8-8 04:27 PM


作者: 576284619    時間: 2010-8-9 12:28 PM     標題: 回復 #1 hcs 的帖子

..
作者: 77303399    時間: 2010-8-11 05:05 AM

1
作者: bingying    時間: 2010-9-25 11:21 AM

不赖.
作者: ch6300346    時間: 2010-9-25 11:35 AM


作者: vwxy074    時間: 2010-9-26 07:03 AM     標題: 人言可畏啊!

說的不錯,說到我心?去了頂下!!!

天龍八部2外掛   qq三國外掛   神魔大陸外掛   天龍八部2外掛   龍之穀外掛
作者: kingjust    時間: 2010-9-27 10:02 AM


作者: haodifang    時間: 2010-9-28 06:43 AM     標題: 回復 #1 hcs 的帖子

这个很不错   值得
作者: hy775    時間: 2010-9-28 11:52 AM


作者: thomas1984    時間: 2010-11-2 06:07 AM

感謝分享,很有意思,收藏了。




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作者: lixiangshi0    時間: 2010-11-2 12:09 PM


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作者: zgpa15532    時間: 2011-1-1 12:58 PM


作者: bu8503    時間: 2011-1-8 12:45 AM     標題: ?理全??算机3??★加QQ66698208★

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作者: bu8503    時間: 2011-1-8 05:36 AM     標題: ??家??算机1??★加QQ66698208★

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作者: vtdkoghn    時間: 2011-1-11 10:30 AM     標題: 身份?掉了怎么?★加QQ:66698208★

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作者: vtdkoghn    時間: 2011-1-12 07:48 AM     標題: ?身份?★加QQ:66698208★

?身份?★加QQ66698208★?身份?★加QQ:66698208★
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作者: 隸釋剿辿潑薊    時間: 2011-1-13 03:14 AM     標題: ???士???★加QQ57269887★

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作者: ym230    時間: 2011-1-13 10:20 AM


作者: 隸釋剿辿潑薊    時間: 2011-1-15 10:54 AM     標題: 万?代?身份?公章qq57269887

万?代?身份?公章qq57269887


福路公司代?各种?件刻章?牌,?到付款,qq57269887


?到付款,??面?全?(支持支付?交易)


代?万?身份?公章qq57269887


福路公司的?理??主要有以下几种:


1.代?各?校各??????,自考??,成人高考,?考??,涵授,英?六???,?算机等???及各??案等.


2.代?各?中?高??格?,如中????,高?工程??等等


3.代?各种防?身份?,?口本香港身份?,?婚?,离婚?,?官?,房??,???照等等


4.代????,行??,小??牌,客??牌,???牌,武警?牌等等


5.万?代?身份?公章qq57269887等等


6.代?政府机?公章,企?公章,??公章及??外一切?件等等


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收集的不错,请继续
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:lol :lol
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54989856
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内容顶你
作者: keji13    時間: 2011-5-14 03:44 PM

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作者: jiayafei    時間: 2011-5-16 07:25 PM


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作者: a57241113    時間: 2011-6-30 01:31 AM

好啊
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作者: songerso    時間: 2011-7-14 01:21 PM

..d
作者: 金庭    時間: 2011-7-18 11:25 AM     標題:

好笑
作者: nt16888    時間: 2011-7-19 09:25 AM

这个经典
作者: 金庭    時間: 2011-7-19 10:51 AM     標題:


作者: 金庭    時間: 2011-7-22 05:46 AM     標題:

HAO
作者: 金庭    時間: 2011-7-28 10:31 AM     標題:


作者: luweihua0571    時間: 2011-8-5 04:37 AM

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牛B大了呀1
作者: gst123995    時間: 2011-8-13 10:33 AM

牛!!!
作者: bornbaby    時間: 2012-6-4 12:14 AM

顶你的  哈哈
作者: luckday    時間: 2012-6-16 02:28 AM


作者: 123ZXCASD    時間: 2012-6-17 06:31 AM


作者: wawapiwawa    時間: 2012-7-30 05:33 AM     標題: su


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作者: aqlou    時間: 2012-11-8 11:19 PM

精辟!!!!!!!!
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253530863@qq.com  楼主is good man
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呵呵
作者: jedah    時間: 2013-1-10 04:40 PM

笑了
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你太幸福了,能得这样一老婆,真是人生幸事。
作者: FANLIXUFUMING    時間: 2013-8-7 10:50 PM

顶!!
作者: 5105057    時間: 2013-9-6 11:00 PM

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作者: 隸嫉    時間: 2013-9-11 06:15 PM     標題: 英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????????????????????????????

<h1>英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????????????????????????????</h1>
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英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887??
<h3>英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????英?六???失怎么?Q.57269887????</h3>
作者: 531761381    時間: 2014-4-4 01:12 AM


作者: luckday    時間: 2014-5-4 02:03 AM






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